DR VON HALLER: ALL OF THIS IS PART OF THE CHILDHOOD SCENE. WE USUALLY REMEMBER PAINFUL AND HUMILIATING THINGS. BUT ARE THEY ALL OF WHAT WE REMEMBER? WHAT PLEASANT RECOLLECTIONS OF CHILDHOOD HAVE YOU? WOULD YOU SAY THAT ON THE WHOLE YOU WERE HAPPY?
MYSELF: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT "ON THE WHOLE." SENSATIONS IN CHILDHOOD ARE SO INTENSE I CAN'T PRETEND TO RECALL THEIR DURATION. WHEN I WAS HAPPY I WAS WARMLY, BRIMMINGLY HAPPY, AND WHEN I WAS UNHAPPY I WAS IN HELL.
DR VON HALLER: WHAT IS THE EARLIEST RECOLLECTION YOU CAN HONESTLY VOUCH FOR?
MYSELF: OH, THAT'S EASY. I WAS STANDING IN MY GRANDMOTHER'S GARDEN, IN WARM SUNLIGHT, LOOKING INTO A DEEP RED PEONY. AS I RECALL IT, I WASN'T MUCH TALLER THAN THE PEONY. IT WAS A MOMENT OF VERY GREAT - PERHAPS I SHOULDN'T SAY HAPPINESS, BECAUSE IT WAS REALLY AN INTENSE ABSORPTION. THE WHOLE WORLD, THE WHOLE OF LIFE, AND I MYSELF, BECAME A WARM, RICH PEONY-RED.
DR VON HALLER: HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO RECAPTURE THAT FEELING?
MYSELF: NEVER.
- ROBERTSON DAVIES, THE MANTICORE, (1972)
MYSELF: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT "ON THE WHOLE." SENSATIONS IN CHILDHOOD ARE SO INTENSE I CAN'T PRETEND TO RECALL THEIR DURATION. WHEN I WAS HAPPY I WAS WARMLY, BRIMMINGLY HAPPY, AND WHEN I WAS UNHAPPY I WAS IN HELL.
DR VON HALLER: WHAT IS THE EARLIEST RECOLLECTION YOU CAN HONESTLY VOUCH FOR?
MYSELF: OH, THAT'S EASY. I WAS STANDING IN MY GRANDMOTHER'S GARDEN, IN WARM SUNLIGHT, LOOKING INTO A DEEP RED PEONY. AS I RECALL IT, I WASN'T MUCH TALLER THAN THE PEONY. IT WAS A MOMENT OF VERY GREAT - PERHAPS I SHOULDN'T SAY HAPPINESS, BECAUSE IT WAS REALLY AN INTENSE ABSORPTION. THE WHOLE WORLD, THE WHOLE OF LIFE, AND I MYSELF, BECAME A WARM, RICH PEONY-RED.
DR VON HALLER: HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO RECAPTURE THAT FEELING?
MYSELF: NEVER.
- ROBERTSON DAVIES, THE MANTICORE, (1972)
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